Every time I fart, I am reminded of you and I feel so sad.
I shouldn’t go to Starbucks because it makes me poop
I guess my ideal date would be the two of us together in some secluded place. We’re outdoors and it’s very pretty. You’re very pretty. The weather is nice. There is a breeze. I offer you my sweater and you take it. I spend the rest of the evening convincing you that “bong” is a verb.